Theresa May Part 1

Because the first scene published yesterday of Liam Shakehands' new play Theresa May Part 1 was so popular he has given me unprecedented access to the second scene.

ACT 1 SCENE 2  A room in the Palace of Westminster

Enter Hilary Benn woad painted and packing many shooting irons. Behind follow Owen Smith and Paddy Ashdown with his pants up. They are woad painted also and on the warpath.

Benn:     [Taking out two pistols and cocking them]

                These two firearms which I see before me,
                With itchy fingers on their triggers poised,
                Can, in an instant, send our foe to hell.
                Two loud reports as both I squeeze at once,
                Then, as the smoke retreats, behold the view;
                Corbyn lying crumpled and deceased.

Smith:     Fine!
                These guns of yours are practical I'm sure,
                But did we not agree to stay our hand,
                Until the leader's ballot is resolved ?
                I might well win.

Benn:       How goes your bid in that?

Smith:     Uphill in truth.
                New membership has complicated things.
         
Benn:        Ah well,the C.I.A will topple him
                  At once, if all else fails. Hurrah the Yanks.

Ashdown:  Look friends, while we endeavour to depose
                   This left-wing fool, if just by happenchance
                   I get to drop my pants and blissfully
                   Begin to roger to my heart's delight,
                   I trust you will not spill the beans.

Benn:        Forsooth!
                  We might partake as well. Why not?

Exeunt all with a skip in their step